4 Major Lessons I Learned Last Year
I don’t know if I’m the only one who feels this way, but I get this feeling during my day to day life that not all that much is changing. Like I’m just moving from one day to the next without much progress or growth or anything all that exciting happening at all. There’s the odd wedding or concert or really wonderful day, or alternatively a surprisingly awful one, but those are all few and far between.
Photo from sailing class at the Orange Coast College School of Sailing and Seamanship.
It’s much more likely that my days are filled with the nagging pile of laundry building up in my room or yet another meal to cook even though I’m tired and just want to chill. Tired from what? Well, just the constant pressures of everyday life, but nothing out of the ordinary.
At first reflection, I didn’t think all that much happened in 2022 for me. The days were mostly all the same with work, attempting to write, and doing my best to stick to the routines I’ve implemented to make me feel like I’m going anywhere at all.
Yet, when I forced myself to think a little deeper and recognize that there had to be something I accomplished this year, I was honestly surprised by what I found. While every day may have felt similar to the last, I actually made huge leaps of progress this year.
I started going to therapy regularly and got prescribed anxiety medication for the first time in my life though I’ve probably needed it for years.
I started a regular meditation practice that has me feeling more level headed, calmer, and happier on a consistent basis than I’ve felt in a very long time.
I made a ton of progress in tackling my lifelong fear of driving and gained a lot of independence because of it.
I took the initiative to start investing for retirement on my own since my employer doesn’t offer retirement benefits.
I took sailing classes and am now fairly proficient on a sailboat.
I started a weekly writing group in my area and made new friends, something I hadn’t really done since starting my first big girl job in 2019.
I started paying for my own health insurance and am making my health a priority.
I started waking up earlier to fit in a healthy morning routine on most days which is something I’d been wanting to do for years, but hadn’t managed to accomplish.
All big things!
Through all of this quiet, unassuming growth, I learned a few important lessons that hopefully you can take with you into the new year:
Routines Are Your Friend
I’ve always been fairly self-disciplined, but took a very chaotic, fly by the seat of your pants approach to most of my responsibilities and goals. While this worked when I was younger and had the imposed structure of high school and preparing for college applications or the engaging convenience of living on a college campus, that kind of energy did not serve me well in my personal life as an adult.
It became far too easy to just live in a haze, waking up, going to work, coming home, and scarfing down food before bed. Without self-imposed structure, I made no progress on any of my own personal goals and felt completely stagnant.
As soon as I started establishing routines like a wake up and morning routine, weekly resets, and consistent after-work activities, I was able to take my life back.
A routine can do wonders for making you feel in control of your life and as if you’re actually getting something out of your days. Even if it’s as simple as waking yourself up early enough to enjoy a cup of coffee on the couch in peace before having to start your day, or making sure you plan the week’s meals on a Sunday, you can start to automate and optimize your life in a way that feels good to you.
Rest and Self-Care Are a Necessity
For most of my life I seemed to oscillate between either working myself into the ground, or shirking some major responsibilities for the sake of rest. Truthfully, the latter may have been periods of depression, but they did teach me one thing. While wasting your life away “chilling” isn’t ideal, taking time for rest and self-care is absolutely necessary if you want to accomplish your goals.
You will lose all energy and enthusiasm if you work yourself to the bone, never stopping to take a break from “productivity.” In theory, the ultimate goal of any of our more specific dreams is to achieve a state of happiness. If we put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve, achieve, achieve, without rest, we suck all the happiness from our lives in pursuit of it. Isn’t it ironic?
To keep your dreams alive and to keep yourself healthy and energetic enough to accomplish them, taking the time to rest is a non-negotiable. Whether that means scheduling naps and doing everything you can to turn your brain off long enough to sleep, or making sure to fit at least one long, luxurious shower into your week where you’re not just getting in and getting out because you have to, those small moments of rest and self-care will recharge your soul and prepare you to tackle whatever comes next.
It’s Essential to Appreciate the Little Things
The little things are the foundation of all of our lives.
Think about the things you do daily. To start, you wake up in bed. Are you waking to an unpleasant alarm or a gentle yet effective sound? Do you like the feeling of your sheets? Do you have a cozy, fun pair of slippers to slide your feet into? Maybe a lovely plush carpet to dig your toes into? Or do you place your feet on a harsh, cold floor first thing upon waking?
When you have a morning cup of coffee or tea or water, do you use a vessel that brings a smile to your face with a funny saying or a beautiful design or a texture and shape you like? Or do you just use the first clean thing you can grab? Do you enjoy that morning beverage or is there something you could do to make it even better like a favorite, if slightly pricier version of coffee or tea?
Do you take the opportunity to look outside and appreciate the beauty of the day (no matter if it’s sunny, cloudy, snowing, raining, etc)? Or, if you wake up before sunrise, do you take a moment to appreciate the peacefulness of the morning, get a glimpse at the fading stars or even watch a bit of the sunrise?
Do you wear clothes that fit you well, that are in a style you like, that feel nice against your skin, and that make you feel good about yourself? Do you find something to brighten your day on your morning commute (if you have one) like watching someone walk an adorable dog or flashing a smile at someone you encounter along the way? Do you listen to music that fills you with profound, inexplicable emotion or makes you tap your toes and nod your head? Do you eat food that is delicious and nutritious and makes you appreciate the fact that humans have taste buds?
These are all basic, simple things that fill essentially every day of our lives. If you’re not taking the time and making the intention to enjoy them or do things to make them more enjoyable, you’re missing out on so much good that life has to offer!
I’ve made a clear intention to look out for all the little things that I encounter on a day to day basis that bring me joy and I’ll tell you, once you start, you’ll never want to stop. You’ll find all sorts of creative ways to add a little goodness to each and every day and your life will be drastically improved as a result!
You Get What You Give
I’ll be honest, I learned this lesson a long, long time ago, but this year has made me appreciate it in a whole new way. I was aware that this particular lesson could usually be applied when going to school. If you go, you do most of the homework, you ask questions in class, you take the time to go to office hours and build relationships with professors, you go to social events, become the member of or even found clubs, and essentially put yourself out there often, you’d see a decent return in the form of networking, increased knowledge and assistance from others, more friends, and general satisfaction with your experience. That seemed fairly cut and dry to me.
What I didn’t realize, though, is how much that lesson still applies to general adult life. For some reason, after college I sort of checked-out. I figured that I was in the adult world now, and going to work, coming home, and then going back the next day were pretty much all my life would consist of.
I had the foresight to get a job I didn’t absolutely loathe (at first), but that’s pretty much all I did. I’d go out with coworkers and friends on occasion, and make an effort to go to cool cultural events, but I was not making nearly as much effort as I did in college.
After two and a half years of really not making any effort, I realized just how dull I found my day to day life. It’s a lot harder as an adult to mix things up, meet new people, try new things, etc. I’d stopped doing most of that and I was suffering as a result.
Earlier this year, I finally had enough. I had started a couple of clubs in college and was a member of a few others and I was frustrated that my fire and initiative had seemed to fizzle away already. So, I took it upon myself to look for clubs I could join in my area that might bring me a little fun and be something to fill my time that wasn’t work and netflix. Unfortunately, I came up pretty empty. I live in a rural area, so I knew it was a long-shot, but I wasn’t about to give up.
Instead, I decided to form my own club — a writing group! I found “Shut Up & Write!”, an organization that helps writers get together and support each other as they build their writing habits. There wasn’t a chapter near me, but I didn’t let that deter me. I reached out to the organization and went through the process to open a chapter and become an organizer. It was remarkably easy!
Now, I have a small group of people who get together every week to write for an hour and chat a bit afterward. I’m so happy to be able to say that not only have I been writing more, but I’ve made a few really great friends!
The success of that group and the confidence that came from taking the initiative to put myself out there and put some effort into improving my life has had a huge impact on my quality of life. I’m back to giving my all in life and that has been returned tenfold in the form of new friends, new habits, new prospects, new dreams, and a ton more joy.
Conclusion
Though 2022 didn’t seem like a particularly eventful year, I know the lessons I learned will only serve to make my 2023 even better and full of even more growth. I hope you can take some or all of these pieces of advice and integrate them into your life to improve your year as well.
What lessons did you learn in 2022? Share in the comments so we can all take those teachings to heart.
Here’s to another year of quiet growth and making the most of it all!
